Premonitions of a Helpless "Hero"
I press the plunger down on the syringe connected to a line in my wife's intestine, sending 10 mls of saline solution flowing back into the cavity. It's an abscess caused by the cancer chemo drug, avastin. I have just drawn out 5 mls. of green bacteria filled liquid.........twice a day. So far, together with the drug, temodar, it has shrunk her incurable glioblastoma for the second time, but now the drug, in and of itself, is threatening her life more immediately than the brain cancer.
Tumor will not go away, the abscess won't either. She will need a resect operation on April 11th in order to halt this septic sequence which infects her gut. 3 months with no chemo.....tumor awakening? New tumors forming? More pain, more infection? Weakness? Where did it all start and where does it all end.
Into the stormy night I run on, looking for shelter. Heavy, weary, rain sideways, lightning, dark, ominous, boiling clouds. "Hey you, boy who are you now?" Can't help her, can't fix her........ hero? She called you "her hero"......can't fix her. "Hey Mr. Hero, where are you now?".........running into the night. What is the boy without his bride? Can't see the dragon to slay it, can't find it, can't fix it. Who can? Only God now.
Run, hero, conquer the hills, come back to her.......but you can't fix her.
http://www.chasehomemusic.com/music/01-%20The%20Prayer%202-ALAN%20STOUT%20and%20BROOKE%20GEMMELL-Keyboards%20and%20Arr-David%20Lowell%20Chase.mp3
I press the plunger down on the syringe connected to a line in my wife's intestine, sending 10 mls of saline solution flowing back into the cavity. It's an abscess caused by the cancer chemo drug, avastin. I have just drawn out 5 mls. of green bacteria filled liquid.........twice a day. So far, together with the drug, temodar, it has shrunk her incurable glioblastoma for the second time, but now the drug, in and of itself, is threatening her life more immediately than the brain cancer.
Tumor will not go away, the abscess won't either. She will need a resect operation on April 11th in order to halt this septic sequence which infects her gut. 3 months with no chemo.....tumor awakening? New tumors forming? More pain, more infection? Weakness? Where did it all start and where does it all end.
Into the stormy night I run on, looking for shelter. Heavy, weary, rain sideways, lightning, dark, ominous, boiling clouds. "Hey you, boy who are you now?" Can't help her, can't fix her........ hero? She called you "her hero"......can't fix her. "Hey Mr. Hero, where are you now?".........running into the night. What is the boy without his bride? Can't see the dragon to slay it, can't find it, can't fix it. Who can? Only God now.
Run, hero, conquer the hills, come back to her.......but you can't fix her.
http://www.chasehomemusic.com/music/01-%20The%20Prayer%202-ALAN%20STOUT%20and%20BROOKE%20GEMMELL-Keyboards%20and%20Arr-David%20Lowell%20Chase.mp3
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